God hadn’t held up His end of the bargain. I was wholeheartedly following God. I’m certainly not perfect but in each area of my life I tried to choose God’s will. Why had it led to so much pain?
My young daughter had recently tried to commit suicide. Although I didn’t know it yet, another daughter had been raped. Her behavior certainly shouted her inner world was in turmoil. To add to the tension, my husband and I didn’t agree on how to deal with these things. My faith that God would protect my children had crumbled.
There were ugly behaviors in my family tree: alcoholism, mental illness, sexual identity struggles. I believed those things had been blocked when we committed our family to God. We served Him as missionaries and at our church. We repented and prayed over generational sins. Yet bad things kept happening. The daughter who’d been raped tried to take her life also. Another child struggled with her mental health. Where was God?
He’s right where He said He’d be. God is always by our side and we’re engraved on the palm of His hands. (Rom 8:38-38 and Isaiah 42:13)
Jesus tells us in Mat 6:13 to pray for God to deliver us from the Evil One. The Evil One has tried repeatedly to attack my family. He tends to use tactics that have worked in the past. But I was looking at it all wrong. It wasn’t alcoholism or suicide attempts that are the actual “generational curse.” The devil was trying to convince us that God is unwilling or unable to help when bad things happen. Satan wants us to believe we’re alone and God doesn’t care. I almost fell for it. I told my husband the agnostics had it right, there was no proof God was involved in our lives.
God waited patiently for me to see the truth.
God was at work. He protected my daughter’s life when she hated herself. He taught me about a deep forgiveness that saved my marriage. In the middle of our struggles God was leading us toward His arms and His heart. When another “bad thing” happened I was able to recognize the goodness of God. He was stopping someone I love from following their own will down a dangerous path. These days I pray for protection from the Evil One while I trust God to lead us down paths of righteousness for the sake of His name.
It's possible to worship God based on His good character even if I don't understand His motives. Click To Tweet. Let’s trust His goodness and train our eyes to see past our circumstances and into His heart.
You’ll find a stellar example of this in the short book of Habakkuk. It starts out with a description of Israel that sounds like the United States today. Habakkuk wonders why God isn’t doing anything to stop the injustice. The book ends with Habakkuk praising God even though his circumstances have actually gotten worse. It’s worth reading.